TRANSCENDENT MUSICAL MOMENTS 2000

i hear your music and thoughts and get a half-glmipse of where and who you might have been in the past, and it makes me just want to reach forward and share everything that i've seen - full moons in south dakota, alaskan bears and swirling motions of the heavens known as aurora borealis, thinking about being the young wandering sensitive artist, who wanders through trees and streams, sleeping under the stars, building fires at night for warmth, cooking my own food, my own rich fine food, and leaning back after dinner, contented, sipping a glass of whiskey or beer, smoking a cigar by my fire. writing all my thoughts in a flood, waking with the sunrise, toasting the sunsets, smelling saltwater and feeling sand between my toes, climbing mountain tops, and basking in that two minutes of triumph following a successful mountain ascension, drinking from a canteen, hitching rides in the back of pickup trucks, walking down railroad tracks like a balance beam, riding trains and letting the scenery just flow into a timeless blur, as if somehow, on this little journey, i'd stepped outside of the world, outside time and space, because i'm nowhere distinct, every second i'm in a new place, and everything just flashes by, a divine blur. and meeting people on the trains, straining to understand their english, straining to learn bits of their language, sitting in cramped smoking railcars with general admission seating, feasting on $2 wine and cheese, bathing in hot springs, rivers, and lakes, sending postcards, unknowingly humming happy tunes to myself, strumming a guitar under a full moon in a field of daisies, heading across borders and dealing with those poor, unhappy souls - the border police - and trying my damndest to send them positive thoughts, if that's possible.

these are all things that i love, my friends. someday music will say all this for me. but how? it's all so hard to just spill out, to let it all flow out. it's just an ache, a terrible ache, for beautiful thoughts demand expression, yet sometimes i feel it's just all too much to express in words, something else must work. last night, i played hard, loud rock and roll for the first time in years. a house party with 100 people and 20 or so paying deep attention. the rest jsut there for background noise, i guess. playing guitar, strumming the fuck out of it. it felt beautiful. loud, ringing ears. dull sounds afterwards. the victory beer(s). and it spoke of such possibility. rock music! life suddenly seemed as a lucid dream. and so much more to come.